All posts for the month March, 2013

Evo-psych? (And ranting)

Rant time, skip if you don’t wanna see my whine about internet strangers. I’m normally pretty Pollyanna about how all the sexualties can get along, but then some earnest person posts this, on /r/bdsmcommunity, about getting the mainstream to accept kink. Fourth, bdsm in all its many forms is base. It is primal. That is […]

Me and My Webcam

Something…something…performative space… something… self objectification? So I have been livestreaming daily life activities. Mundane stuff like me doing the dishes or yack-yack-yacking to people about safe anal sex.  Despite my reticence to put up static images, I actually enjoy interacting in this way. It’s not precisely exhibitionism  because even though I’m under a barrage of sexual attention, it’s stimulating […]

FAbQ: Should You “Train” With Someone?

Getting practical experience is a challenge. One of the confusing things about kinky sex, is that the term “train” is used without much explanation  When we talk about someone in a D/s relationship, especially in an erotic context, “training” is often put under extreme focus- And in stories and porn, the dominant will often train someone to […]

What Would Fantasies of Female Dominance Look Like Without Sexism?

 This isn’t a post about abolishing sexism, it’s about female dominance and power in an imbalanced world. Unfortunately, the sexes are not treated equally in society at large. I’m not really prepared to debate this fact in some sort of “choice to be powerless” or “so what if you don’t have power, you have boobs […]

Other Places to Go Round Up

So I’ve been coughing and sick all week, and soothing my sore throat with popsicles. And it’s time to share something sweet with you guys. o~o~o Pervocracy hilariously punctured poor Cosmo’s efforts to get in to the 50 Shades craze with some BDSMLite, including the perils of letting anyone writer “Property of [name]” on your underpants. The […]

My sex toys, months later.

(Gmail is eating some of my responses to your email, so I’m throwing an FYI up on a post about sex toys, that if you didn’t get a reply, blame google) It’s pink. Violently pink. I’m looking at a neat little row of anal plugs in small sizes, with about the colour tones I would […]

It’s Mental (D/s Triggers)

I’m really bad at a lot of stuff. I don’t even touch single tails or floggers anymore, I feel like it’s such a lost cause. My ropework looks like a cat’s been in the yarn. I have an aim that hurts me as much as it hurts the victim. But I think the biggest learning […]

Me, the Masochist AND Dominant ALSO Ego

I recently filled out the University of Nova Scotia’s sex research survey, apparently trying to cross correlate personality  with self identified sexual orientation in BDSM. So my identification is something that’s sometimes a bit awkward for me. I’m not “Undecided”. I know I’m a dominant. But even beyond the sensual/sensitive/strict variations, I also have other […]

Vanilla-ish

So if previously I lambasted vanilla as the destroyer of relationships, on the other hand I think ‘vanilla’ is a really imprecise term in relation to kink. For one thing, it sets up a false dichotomy. Either you are Vanilla or you are Kinky and never the twain shall meet. Or worse, Vanilla bad, Kink […]

Freedom and Caution

So I hosted my usual 18-35 munch (ohhhh, you’re that Pearl!) and it went swimmingly. And because I have the words “freshly broken up” stamped on my forehead, and because I am flirty and approachable, the tentative interest is starting to manifest. Funny thing about that, at the moment I could be banging half the city […]