I Can’t Endorse You, And The Fact That This Bothers You Is A Warning

So Montreal is very blessed with a large BDSM scene. Although clubs and dungeons come and go, based on trends and the notoriously tight wallets of the average kinky citizen, you have your pick of places to hang out. One (well, a couple) of them keeps allowing HerrK to come to their events, a dude with […]

Post Mortem 2016

2016 was not a sexy year. It was a year where I had a very complicated relationship with the Montreal BDSM Community (which is a nice way to say I shouted about sexual assault allegations) and also a year when my libido decided to take a nap, helped along by a cushioning layer of medications […]

I’m Number 42!

So it’s the end of the year, and there’s the usual little puff of awards to waft us out. I deliberately skipped the kinkly awards this year (not even the winners were exactly happy with them) but got picked for something I actually hold in a lot of esteem- Molly’s Top 100 Sex Bloggers of […]

The Crown & Home Cooking

It was a Tuesday, but not a #PunishTuesday. I came home and I don’t think he’d left the bed since I went to work that morning. It’s his vacation and I want him to rest, but like many humans with a streak of perfectionism, idleness is deleterious to his emotional well being. As a person […]

A Sex Shop Date With Wildcard

Last Saturday, Wildcard identified my doldrums as needing fixing, s we went out to watch Dr. Strange and then gorge on sushi, the latter activity almost  meaning a visit to the nearby sex shop, called “Romance“. Every relationship has its rituals. I have an undying love for salmon, particularly raw or smoked. Wildcard has a […]

Femdom Life: NO-vember Begins

November is prostate cancer and men’s health, diabetes and national novel writing month. It’s also the first quiet period I’ve had in a long time. Thus begins the month of Pearl Not Doing Things. A major vanilla project I’m working on has started to wind down. I’ve dealt with the whole (alleged) serial rapist in […]

The Kink Role Decoder You Were Waiting For

Ever wondered what those titles and identifier tags meant? This list is here to set you straight when you are getting kinky. 😉 Primal Predator: He really likes rough sex. Somehow this impresses some people and is seen as more ‘intense’.  babygirl: She’s somewhere between the ages of 35 and 45 and she has her shit […]

Herr Kommandandt Quits. Now What?

Herr Kommandandt has stepped down from his role in Urban Dungeon, and allegedly the BDSM scene. After the number of abuse allegations climbed to 11+ separate individuals with startlingly similar stories of rape, injuries they never consented to, theft and abuse, and a post of mine that made Kinky & Popular on fetlife, there’s some […]

Something Positive From MTL: A Lingerie for Men Show!

After that necessary barrage of negativity about abuse allegations, and the unhinged messages from special salad man, I want to digress into talking about something pretty neat happening in my city… A Lingerie for Men Fashion Show! I often talk about the strictures on men, particularly male subs, not to be objects of sexual desire. […]

Crazy Messages: Sessions for Salad Dressing Plz?

It’s not unusual to get unsolicted messages on fetlife, as a woman. For a background my relationship to Wildcard is featured pretty prominently, and my profile is set to events only. If I want to play with someone I prefer to initiate, but this has never deterred anyone. Special Salad Dressing Man: I just read […]