All posts in category O Dear

Crazy Messages: Sessions for Salad Dressing Plz?

It’s not unusual to get unsolicted messages on fetlife, as a woman. For a background my relationship to Wildcard is featured pretty prominently, and my profile is set to events only. If I want to play with someone I prefer to initiate, but this has never deterred anyone. Special Salad Dressing Man: I just read […]

Hate Mail 2016 #2- Paul Anderson, Jeremy Smith’s Twin Brother

Oh look, we have a new message from Jeremy, this time calling themselves Paul Anderson! And boy is he mad. Having a burr in his thong, he spares no invective for a frank expression of his feelings towards me. He really, really doesn’t like femdom. This time he spared the implied rape threats (you know […]

Kink.com Excludes Femdom From Mainstream BDSM

This shit is what I’m talking about here, when I talk about the sexism that femdoms deal with, when it comes to being taken seriously as a part of BDSM. This is the navigation menu for kink.com, which¬†helps you find their sub-sites, sorted by 5 options. Gay gets its own category that excludes F/f, which […]

Reader Letters: Found Another Imbecile In The Comments!

This person, calling themselves nischt@gmail.com, as well as various trying too hard to edge aliases, decided to grace me with their startling well spelled but nonetheless¬†incoherent messages that got stuck in the spam filter. Here they are responding to my post on Don’t Fear the 50Shades Newbies: They start off by quoting something I said. […]

Moronic Messages: Backpeddling Butthurt

There’s nothing a dominant woman likes more than being randomly solicited. This conversation took place in my inbox via reddit. I’d posted in a completely kink unrelated thread about the website policy, mentioning I was moderator of /r/femdomcommunity, and clearly this guy took it as a good reason to reach out. Him: Hey…how’s it going? […]

Reader Letter: Ronald Gill Follow Up

So as a follow up to me going public with Ronald Gill, as mentioned in my last blog post, Ferns of Domme Chronicles mentioned on twitter this little pustule was blistering up her inbox as well -although he was being relatively innocuous, if trying to rush interactions with her like a creep is to be […]

Crazy Messages: Why Ronald Gill will never find a femdom

So a couple of weeks ago, I got another contender for the spot currently occupied by “Jeremy Smith”. For a little while I hesitated to publish this for a number of reasons. First of all, the challenge with getting crazy, entitled messages is that the people who send them probably know better already. As I’ve […]

Lifestyle VS Pro and The Male Sub Loot Grab

So I was recently reading the advice of the blogger Cara Sutra, on the difference between professional and lifestyle dominants. And I’m sorry, she got it wrong. Cara is an experienced and award winning sex journalist and I have nothing personally against her, but this post is rife with errors and the sort of general […]

MRA, PUA and Weird Male Dominance Fixations

So, there’s moments when one becomes utterly mystified by the state of other people’s sexual psychosis. Especially places that take a whole range of vocabulary you use or one thing and twist them into something else. One of them is the Manosphere’s absurd obsession with being Alpha and Dominant. So, what’s the Manosphere? To bring […]

More Inbox Detrius And Spanking

It is a factor of the open and relatively accessibly nature of the internet that you will end up talking to people you never would have met outside the free flow of online communication. From feeling less alone in the company of fellow people with a shared perspective on your already uncommon sexual kinks to […]