30 Day of Kink: BDSM Fantasy VS Real Life

30 Days of Kink Continues, as the blogging exercise draws to a close!

These aren’t questions that I think that deserve their own blog post, but as this exercise is almost done I thought I’d wrap them all up in one shot.

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

Pretty open actually, allowing for good taste. I don’t consider my kinks particularly unusual, and for my immediate social group, they aren’t.

I generally see there being a separation between general interests and details. Knowing I’m active in the BDSM scene is a volunteering sexual health thingee. Knowing the particulars of my sex life is not something anyone who is not actively seeking it out (blog readers) or involved in my sex life needs to know. So my vanilla friend might know I’m a community organizer and my parents might know I publish saucy books- but I’m not going to offer my employer a review copy and when I need to make it clear I’m not available some night at work I’m vague about my volunteering.

I think I’m able to be unusually open with my family because both parents can’t keep their mouths shut. Needless to say I don’t think the apple falls far from the tree.

I think that leash play in front of the vanillas runs the range of playful to obnoxious, and the line you need to draw is whether you are dragging random people into your dynamic or whether you are just being silly happy romantic people.

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Cybersex is a lot of fun, and one of my favourite activities. Beyond that, since BDSM is an emotional/social thing, I don’t see it as being a bad thing. I do think that online relationships let many people gloss over an idealize things, but sometimes, like pornography, there’s a time and place for everything.

Obviously typing about whipping is not the same as really whipping people, so online play will never build your technical skills, but I wouldn’t be half the pornographer I am now without all the hours of naughty chats of my misspent youth. And on the flip side, online make believe lets us play out things that would neither be safe nor sensible.

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Define kinky activities vs non-kinked ones. If you mean this blog, yep, I might bring feminism into it or whatever. And my caretaking streak transcends my sexuality as well as suffuses it. And my particular sort of dramatic romantic fantasies certainly color what I perceive of as being a good idea. I also might use kink to “force” a partner into doing something good for them.

Go on, say what you think!

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