Hair Raising Yahoo BDSM Articles

Yahoo, you're scaring me...Yahoo is alarming me today.

So as part of my mandate for this blog, I want to try to provide people with somewhat sane kink resources. I’ve been feeling pretty chuffed, and sometimes a bit outclassed lately by all the great advice that’s out there. But then I decided, for the purpose of a post I was putting together to go back to the basics and do a google search or two for information. What, after all, would a complete novice, who wasn’t neck deep in blogs and online groups find?

I googled “being the best submissive” because that was what I was looking for for the post I was writing.

Apparently, as part of the “Lifestyles” web content mandate they have, Yahoo has random contributor written BDSM advice articles cheerfully packed in next to Recycling and Food & Wine. I suppose this is not surprising, as BDSM is hardly anything alarming. It’s presented as basic instructions, often with titles like BDSM 101. So, it’s sex and relationship discussions for normal healthy couples, right?

Let’s check out some of their advice…

On Parenting and BDSM:

I have only been privy to one house where the daughter had been groomed to be submissive like her mother. The daughter chose this herself when she turned 16 and she went to ask her father to introduce her to people that she could submit to.

Oh hai, you can be Twue on Yahoo!:

Submitting means you truly give your all. This is something that many submissives fail to realize. Many believe it means giving only what you want to give or feel like giving. This is not true, though. True submission means going above and beyond…giving until it hurts. It does not mean giving all of yourself physically and then holding back the rest.

Negotiations of fidelity? No! The dom is law! (Though at least you have the option to find a non-poly dom, assuming he doesn’t change his mind, because every BDSM relationship is static). A lot of this advice is posted mouse trap style- either you are in the relationship and you take it, or you can always tell what you’re getting into beforehand.

When you decide enter into a dominant/submissive relationship, you must learn to say goodbye to outward expressions of jealousy. Nothing can kill such a relationship faster. Your dominant may decide to have more than one submissive.

Make Sure To Ask A Sub If You’re Allowed To Break Up With Them:

Release must never happen without the ritual of letting go during which a submissive or slave kneels and gives up the collar willingly.

The authors of these pieces seem to have a hard time accepting that not everyone is going  to do things in a ritualized fashion like they want the world to work like. Of course, from Yahoo’s perspective, these articles are the responsibility of the writer, they just take advantage of the clicks. And the frankly bizarre advice is often buried in the heart of okay suff, like here…

Metal smelling subs:

The odor of a submissive in subspace or close to it is sometimes slightly metallic. That is why you never want a submissive to wear perfume or body oils when you play.

I’m a very scent oriented person. People scents do change depending on mood and stuff, but being able to pick out a “metallic” smell for “subspace” is again, neither helpful, nor sensible.

Don’t worry, Yahoo has Goreans

What are the philosophies of those that call themselves Gorean? Mainly, they are to be what you are. Men are seen as the Dominate of our species, while woman are seen as those that should be submissive to a real Man. Men are to be honorable, and defend their home, to the death if need be. This includes the city, or in our society, the country the man lives in.

or

To most Gorean Men, a submissive man is seen with contempt. Something to belittle, and nothing more. Amongst some, even the mention of a male slave causes arguments.

What about the free woman? A free woman is to be seen as someone to respect, but should also be submissive. Most Goreans (mostly Men and slaves) feel that every woman is a slave in some way. There is a saying, that a enslaved woman is more free than a free woman.

Keep in mind this is Yahoo and this guy is explaining how he applies his philosophies to his daily life, with the recommendation that you don’t try to forcibly enslave women because it’s against the law (nevermind ethics or consent). Now in fairness Gor is its own thing, and there are Goreans who believe this bullshit, but this is something I found when I looked for BDSM information via a in internal search into Yahoo.

Now some of the advice articles are okay, and the contributors are, from the looks of it, hapless bloggers with the legitimacy of a Yahoo logo slapped on top, but all the poor editing that are hallmarks for amateurs doing their best.

Obviously you can’t control the internet, and you’re liable to find boneheads in every platform- fetlife has its share of twits. And even most of the stupidity tries to couch itself in terms of smarter advice like communication but…

It really puts into perspective the possible wrong avenues there are out there, and where some of the people who come into the scene with stupid ideas are getting them. I just wish the BDSM bad advice was confined to these guys.

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2 Comments

  1. Neophyte

     /  June 19, 2013

    Wow, this is some really awful stuff. Who believes this crap? Plain and simple, kinky people are primarily normal people. Until you and your partner take the time to discuss and negotiate otherwise, have a normal relationship.

    Reply
    • Sadly, a lot of people have wishful thinking and get bit by the “true” bug. Yahoo is technically not at fault because that content is open to people submitting it on their own behalf, but all advice is biased.

      Like i said, the problem is that Yahoo gives it more legitimacy than what is basically someone’s blog deserves.

      Reply

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