The Tower and the Chariot

The news of my estranged mother’s breast cancer adds one more variable in the tornado of shrapnel that is my life. Good news on my insurance paperwork is the trade off. Probably getting paid for my month of sick. Can pay Wildcard back for last month’s rent.

Got to figure out the rest of my life. Barring calamity, I have half a century left to work out. And I am listening to my medical professionals. Stop things that are making me sick.

So migrained last night I missed the munch I technically run. I am… Done. Ok with it, actually, shedding it like a wool sweater in the desert. A wool sweater I hand knit, but maybe I deserve to be happy?

I haven’t been happy about some things for a long time, and it shows in my writing. My blog on hiatus, my life waiting “until X happens” and taking care of the latest explosion. So much crisis management.

My body shut me down, hard, because I tested its limits for other people until I literally collapsed.

Kinda done with that.

I deserve to be happy.

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6 Comments

  1. Yes. Yes, you do.

    Reply
  2. Madame Poule

     /  July 28, 2017

    Yes you do.

    Came here right away to say that and see that tellingfibulas beat me to it.

    Reply
  3. Yes, yes you do

    Reply
  4. Annie

     /  July 28, 2017

    Yes, you really do.

    And I’m just sad you haven’t been for so damn long. 🙁 *beams long range positive thoughts in your direction*

    Reply
  5. tomc

     /  July 29, 2017

    My gosh Ms.Pearl– I’m so sorry for what is going on in your life– all I can is this fan hopes things get better in your life real soon.

    Reply
  6. You deserve to be happy and you will be happy. I’d offer you some suggestions, but I see your unconscious is already doing intelligent things moving you to the right direction from your writing. You are not aware of unconscious’ work, but that’s just how it works. One skill I developed from my fetish I guess, to be able to observe the unconscious. You are smart and capable. Soon all these shall pass.

    Reply

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