5 Ways to Celebrate Locktober

It’s Locktober! That’s a full month arbitrarily devoted to celebrating chastity play, and by extension, given the popularity of caging cock in femdom, a whole 31 days to be romantic about F/m dynamics.

With one week left in the month, maybe this comes on the tail of the season, but I thought I’d bang out some quick tips to celebrate locktober – because I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing regular content.

What is Locktober?

Whose idea was this perverse silliness anyway? Well, the origin point is not completely agreed upon, but while the earliest known online post about it was on a chastity forum in 2015, celebrations spread across tumblr during 2016 and 2017, finding fertile ground in the very sharable nature of the then fairly robust adult community. (Credit to Cut to the Chase for making a good try to collate the Locktober lore) The glory days of tumblr are behind it, but the holiday lives on.

I think the origin might even be a cheerful riff on the older No Nut November, with its origin in the r/nofap community on reddit, after the rather more philosophically motivated silliness of boys who don’t wanna cum to preserve their potency gave fodder to fetishists. Not surprisingly there’s also a much more tongue in cheek effort to tie December with Denial.

Regardless of the roots, while No Nut November still has one foot in weird folk beliefs about the physically detrimental effects of the male orgasm, Locktober is for chastity lovers, and ever increasingly, a playful celebration of male submission in general.

1) The traditional method

Grab your chastity cage, cram it inside, click the lock and ask a special someone to be your key holder. 31 days of denial is a marathon, so do your research and look into how to get a good fit on your chastity cage.

You really will want to do your research as you can get a cage in a plethora of materials from decorative and playful metal animal shapes, to silicone, to plastic.

2) The solo method

Not everyone can, or wants to find a partner. Although you could argue that simply not participating at all the the ultimate denial, from the more locked up side, this is actually as good an excuse as you will get to dip your toes into the fetish as more than just a fantasy.

Merits of self locking including dealing with the pesky fit issue now, and also determining if you even like the physical sensations. Have no partner? Apps like Chastikey are here to help with variable time options to practice denial.

And, if you doubt your willpower, there’s alway the old fashioned key in a block of ice, or mailing yourself the key, though with the US postal service under siege you definitely want to make sure you have a safe key for the latter.

3) Making it about your Domme

One of the biggest criticisms of Locktober comes from communities of female dominants, who have observed that there’s an ongoing issue with Male Chastity in general that it tends to be very prescriptivist for how the Top is supposed to react and treat their locked partner. If you want to avoid that, you will need to walk the very fine line between submitting to her, not the fetish- but using your fetish to celebrate her.

Dominants are going to very by how they feel about the subject, but pretty universally clear that the top killer of moods is nagging- both to get locked, and then to get out.

If you want the sexy forfeit experience for your keyholder, the best way to phrase things is a tool she can use to feel as she wishes. Avoid promising more dishes and house chores and think about contexts that make your domme feel both sexy and powerful.

Is it wearing lingerie? Being listened to as a subject matter expert? More one domme even put out the free floating locktober challenge to share your acts of service this month in compliment to the caging.

And, just like how Valentine’s day can be a couple minefield, when it comes to mismatched expectations, talk to the person with the key. And! Make it very clear that you don’t need a special month to obey for her, but it’s great to have another excuse.

4) Being new to denial (and not overdoing it)

One of the biggest pitfalls to Locktober is that prolonged chastity is an endurance sport. A lot of people buy into the fantasy of being perma-chaste, only to feel disgusted or frustrated with themselves when the cage that was supposed to be on for a month is off in an hour.

Take your time, starting with short stints of denial. It’s ok to slowly build up a tolerance to deprivation, and long term chastity fans tell me it’s quite possible to develop a whole new side to your sexuality in the process.

And do take the time to find a community of like minded folks. Denying Thumper is a particular favourite of mine, but not only are their whole online communities dedicated to this, but the best how tos and advice are going to come from your fellow locked folks.

5) Don’t feel locked (snrk) to what other people are doing

Ok, so I’ve talked about this like it’s a thing everyone is clearly doing and on board with. But, shocking reveal, you can hack locktober to work for you. I did! This month I didn’t cage up Silver for the whole thing, I banned him from touching himself with his hands.

Seriously, you can change anything up you want and still be authentic. Maybe you are feeling super pressured because you aren’t good at long term denial. Maybe you are broke in college and can’t afford a cage. Maybe you are a person without the genitals that a cage works for! As amusing as it would be on my resume, I am not the cock cage police.

Regardless of what and how you do it, with a lock and key or the honour system, the most important thing remains the enjoyment and relative safety of those involved- so, happy locking, and feel free to share your month’s adventures in the comments!