30 Days of Kink: Happy and Curious!

30 days of kink is almost finished up, especially with me cramming multiple days in a go. Thankfully, after several days asking me to whine, these few days are all about good things and stuff I like again.

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

Uh, unexpected? I guess the BDSM scene gives me a chance to practice being in an organizational role, based on the whole munch thing, so there’s that…

I don’t think kink adds anything to my life that wasn’t already there- if I had vanilla sexuality I’d probably be just as invested volunteering related to that. I guess I will have to admit if I wasn’t so darn reliant on text RP for titillation as a teenager, I’d never have developed my writing ability? But I’m not a person who takes BDSM very seriously as a self identity and this informs how much it’ll effect other parts of my life.

Day 20:  Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

I’m curious why femdom and maledom end up looking so radically different a lot of the time in porn, when in practice the gender of the dominant is way less crucial to the packaging than the fetish selection might imply. I mean other than “the Patriarchy”, which seems disappointing.

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

Gosh, that’s a tough one. I’ve already demonstrated a certain degree of cynicism regarding the mainstream stuff aimed at femdom- eg my review of The Mistress Manual. I like some fiction, but BDSM as a setting can only go so far, especially when I’m firmly into being an evil fetishist but I like character depth and not snuff. For example the Little Submissions guy gets it right, but all his stuff are vignettes.

Tanith Lee is my secret teenage femdom mentor- her fiction is what YA budding dominant women should read for self indulgent but delightful purple prose and characters that reflect a lot of different ways to be dominant while still being painfully young and human.