September 2020 Link Tie Up

Domme magazine, the publication by dommes, for dommes
A magazine we wish existed

A link share? In 2020? But why?

I agree, the era of the blog heyday has long since passed, and once Yahoo put a bullet in the back of the head of sexy Tumblr, that removed another leg in the self maintained circle of femdom content.

These days stuff has moved into social media channels: places like Reddit and Twitter, and a rather odd trickle even onto Facebook. Discords are also popular, with a virtual explosion of them, unlinked chat rooms you basically have to stumble over. Of course some people still continue to roll through, like Ferns with her now venerable Domme Chronicles, but many of the big names of the last decade have dwindled into hiatus. E-lust, the post sharing ring, is shutting down this year.

But, I still think there’s a role for a link dump post of stuff I am looking at lately or think is worth sending you off to. The golden age of the blog is done, but the archived, free internet is still an anchor.

I think that’s incredibly important because we are one power mad “protective” legislation away from losing further swathes of freedom to be adults online.

I threw together the image in this post imagining a sort of world where that wasn’t so. “Dømme“as a magazine title is a hat tip to the censors of Instagram, whose anti-sex work and sex negative twitching delist any overt keyword they associate with femdom (and not M/f, of course) in the name of protecting women. Gag.

The picture, itself, was used with the permission of Dommextra, who is one of the most fabulous voices in the femdom-o-sphere. She gives a really candid view inside her relationship, as well as crackly independence and a delightful exploration of of her own power we are all lucky enough to be taken along for the ride for.

One of my favourite parts of her writing, other than addictively shareable relatable femdom tweets, is that she crosses streams, talking about her adventures dipping her toe in the pro side as “Finesse“, and sharing her really pithy insights on the comparisons. With the conversation dominated by swerfs and greedy cheap people, versus almost total lifestyle only erasure, as a femdom I appreciate just how good she is about sharing her experience.

With all of us stuck inside, there’s been an ever blossoming selection of online classes and workshops- usually these would only be accessible if you lived in the geographic area of the event, but Ruby Ryder over at Pegging paradise is offering a web ready set of free pegging classes this month.

Meanwhile, as the impact of the pandemic just slaughtered in person sex work and with the Only Fans boom, there’s other classes in taking things online, put together by groups like Wicked Alliance. Classes range from $22 US to $30 US and tackle topics like finding your niche and green screen work. Ultimately porn is art, and even if the art isn’t for me I can appreciate treating kink content like it’s grown up and worth good production values.

And speaking of awesome adaptions to the current covid climate, OffDutyDominatrix, the store is offering a selection of gothic and fetish look personal masks. I own one and I can say that, without receiving any compensation (Silver bought it as a gift for me) I think it’s my favourite to wear about.

If I were going to try to collect any sort of payment I would drop an affiliate link to Pink Cherry, my absolute bargain basement supplier of cheap sex toys, but I totally did not actually test the riding crops. I just shop from them a lot for rock bottom price stuff I can try- they being the source of my once upon a time Valentine’s riding crop bouquet.

I suppose I will close with a polite request that if you have a virtual event in October or an exciting link you want featured to send me a message, because I will probably try to do another one of these next month!

Bad Girls Blogger Award

Victoria Vista over at Sexual Destinies recently gave me a hat tip in the form of the blogger chosen “Bad Girl Bloggers” award.

She put me in the company of Remittance Girl and Rori- pretty epic comparisons if you ask me! Of course trying to choose my favorite blogger is going to be impossible, since you’re all pretty wonderful, so I thought I’d give a bump to four other bloggers who are genuinely daring (and why).

Ferns of Domme Chronicles, for herwillingness to share one of the hardest things about this femdom thing- the vulnerability of our own desire. Also Ferns is a bit of a web celebrity in femdom circles.

Dumb Domme of the same, for her relatively unsung efforts to make it clear anyone can hack this kinky thing.

Not Just Bitchy, published but Stabbity, for not being afraid to tell it like it is in honest language.

Perverse Cowgirl for being insightful for sharing the highs and the lows of her life.

pantiesandjack

RULES: If you are a recipient, please choose 3-5 female bloggers who write about sex (or post sexy pics of themselves, or both) that you admire and award them by passing on the award photo above and the rules. Also, give a brief explanation of why you love those bloggers so much. Be sure to notify your favorite bloggers that they got the award!

(I personally am chain-post agnostic- but I like all the people who I’m pimping)

Now, that being said, sex blogging is a female dominated field- so I’d love it if people shared their favourite bloggers of both genders in the comments- and that includes your own blog too!

Other Places To Go Part V

Yaye! It’s time for a link share of cool stuff that caught my eye. kissinghim A fantastic post on reddit, discussing starting out as a female dominant and practical things you can try in the bedroom with a partner, that doesn’t focus on filling the fantasy dominatrix role.

A very talented artist did a comic with female dominant themes that would have appealed to teenage proto-dom me in a SFW story about a selkie and a fisherwoman.

Not Just Bitchy is being clever again, with some basic but needed advice on getting a service dynamic off the ground.

10 Smart Blogs You Shouldn’t Forget (And Why!)

Broken Crockery Award For Special WebsitesLists are trendy right now, and in honour of that (and for those people who go under appreciated on lists and break crockery so they can feel better), here’s a peer nominated list of 10 smart blogs that have made themselves unforgettable through their writing. Whether they specialize in self examination or dirty word porn, or just give an inside perspective to trying to do sex right, each writer has made their mark and should not be forgotten.

In No Order Of Importance, Because I Want To Keep My Friends

  • Girl On the Net Girl on the Net provides a great intersection between accessible kink and sexy writing, with a smart, thoughtful approach.
  • Hiding in Plain Sight Probably one of the most valuable things to other kinksters is raw, honest disclosure about what it’s like when it does and does not work, not just where it feels good but also where it hurts. Perverse Cowgirl is completely candid and open, with good insight into her own vulnerabilities.
  • JTRevener For one reason or another, you don’t seem to get as many blogs from the position of a sub identifying male that are also writing on their perspective as a sub, irregardless of his relationship status. JT makes himself as open and accessible as possible, and he’s not afraid to stand up for himself either.
  • Switch Studies As a bisexual switch, this blogger has a great perspective on the diversity of approach in kink. It can get way to easy to get caught up in your own version of doing things, and Ginger’s blog reminds you to be a little more flexible about other people.
  • Not Just Bitchy Stabbity might characterize herself as ‘rage-y’, but her think outside the box approach to the kink standards we take for granted is briskly refreshing. Someone’s got to do it, and she does it with panache.
  • Becoming Her Slave Another active sub male voice, Giles of Becoming Her Slave deals with one of the most common conundrums in kink- submissive men with loving partners who may not necessarily identity as a dominant.
  • Femdom Resource 99% of the traffic probably comes from people looking for his massive archive of other people’s art and writing (woo community service), but Paltego’s experience driven blog is worth taking the time to read.
  • Dumb Domme Sometimes what kink needs is not taking yourself so seriously. As her tagline says, D embraces the “intersection of femdom and fail”. For me she was one of the first voices I encountered that agreed with my belief that dominance does not give you magic competence powers.
  • Sex Blog of Sorts Sometimes simplicity is at the core of smartness. This blog is completely new to me, but comes highly recommended. Less kink and more sex romp, the writing here still makes it a great part of the blogging landscape.
  • Domme Chronicles Ferns is the moderating executive with a ban hammer that makes several online kink groups behave, and she’s generally got a sharp eye for what the latest discussions in F/m are. As a result, she not only gives great insight into her own life, but is plugged into the hottest, freshest topics.

Other Places To Go Part IV

Happy 2014! With the year showing all sorts of promise, and various other projects on the go- here’s a trio of good links on other people’s blog posts that I thought was worth a gander.

tumblr source

Kink Abuse takes a look at the fundamentals of writing a good kink dating profile.

Freaksexual wrote an oldie-but-goodie on navigating sexually permissive spaces as a straight or bi man.

Stabbity talks about why “stealth submission” won’t scratch the itch.

e[lust] #53 -I’m in it!

We (and by we I mean me) decided to try the e[lust] thing everyone else is doing. It’s very interesting because it’s generally writing for women and by women- although just to warn long term readers, not everything there is femdom- enjoy!

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #54? Start with the newly updated rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

 

Do Not Consent

Found poem – UR so SXY

Kink is not a dirty word!

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Being not doing; a thought about labels.

Take It For Daddy

 

 

~ Readers Choice from  Sexbytes ~

(All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. )

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Other Places to Go Round Up II

Life’s carrying on well enough. Montreal’s wrapped in a blanket of humidity. Strong packed off, leaving a few lingering traces, I went back to my desk job and found little had advanced in my absence. There’s interesting challenges there, including tightening up my resume and planning my summer. I have pretty much all I want… in the planning/preparing stage of things.

So, linky-link time!

 

Submissive Guy Comics

 

Submissive Guy Comics is worth a peek for their light hearted, cuddly and cozy look at D/s

Domme Chronicles  has a great post written by Audio Diva on a happy D/s relationship to give F/m some positive role models.

Dumb Domme has some particularly amusing things to say about aftercare.

Dishevelled Domina, on the other hand is taking a hard look at the lumps that end up in her inbox, in several blog posts.

 

Profanity from Pain

I’ve got a fetish, and it’s not for men who are super polite in the bedroom. I like it when they swear. There’s something particularly thrilling about a foul mouth when it hurts.

Don’t get me wrong, the whole suppressed grunts and whimpering and carrying on has a special place in my heart too… but give me a man who curses like a sailor when the cruelty starts and you’ll have me following him around glassy eyed, in a lemming like fashion.

It’s even hot when you’re not even doing anything that nasty. It feels like you’ve impressed him. Shocked him out of coherence.

“Oh fuck, Miss!” feels so good the instant it escapes his mouth.

Check this out by Ferns:

I move down your chest to your left nipple. I lick it, suck it into my mouth, nibbling at it, then lapping gently with the flat of my tongue. I close my teeth around your flesh and pull at it, applying some pressure. It’s hard. I grab the peg and pull the skin of your nipple forward, closing the peg on it.

I watch your face register the pain, my stomach flipping over as you bite your lip. You are trying to be stoic. I wait for you to swear.

“…Fucking fuck fuck…”

I grab your head and pull your mouth to mine, wanting to swallow your words, I kiss you aggressively and your angry mouth returns the kiss hard, taking my breath. So fucking hot, I’m making soft inarticulate noises into your mouth.

Pure bloody joy (and the rest of her writing is pretty hot too!).

There’s also a certain delight in bedroom trash talk. The protests of a man defeated: “Oh, you evil bitch.” “You’re fucking cruel, Miss!”

I eat it up like candy and it’s a hundred times better than “Goddess!” or any permutation of the worshiping script. Don’t you dare wax lyrical about my sacred cunt. I’m the bitch, the scourge, and your damnation. I hurt, and scratch and bite. I slap and I strike. I know I’m at my happiest when my sadism is bearing down on you. I want it to be awful and evil and I want your curses because they feel real.