All posts in category O Thinking

How to Get a Woman to Dominate You: a Search Review.

I believe you can tell a lot about the quality of the information available to community by how searchable it is and right now that exact phrase “How to Get a Woman to Dominate You” turns up a disaster as far as results. About 50% of humans seem to be at least vaguely kinky, with […]

On Missing Stairs, Zak Smith, Libertines, Pimps, BDSM and Roleplaying

Let’s talk about Zak Smith (aka Zak Sabbath, Zak S). No, not the being terrible person thing, lots of people know about that already. Rather, lets talk about a particularly noxious kind of person who attaches themselves to libertine communities and pleasure parties: the pimp, and how he embodies a particular part of The Problem. […]

Writing About Porn Panic and Porn Influence

If you want to boil Porn Panic into a single concept: It’s about the breathless trembling shock  people write about facials with. In porn, it makes a great visual to have the guy finish by wanking all over the model’s face.  The visual nature of the medium means that the positioning and nature of communication […]

Why Kinkshaming Ruins Christmas

Ok, ok that was shameless clickbait. I’m sorry. It’s not that bad. What I am talking about is actually the conversation around “Baby It’s Cold Outside“. There are two camps around this popular carol, one that observes that it is a festive version of Blurred Lines only worse, and a counter point  that it is […]

Corporations Hate Kinky Sex

At the time of writing, Patreon and Twitter are both going through a phase of removing adult content. Patreon changed their ToU, while Twitter has been merrily shadowbanning accounts it deems sensitive, trimming them from the general popular discourse. Twitter managed to hit historical expert @Whoresofyore during her book promo, while Ferns of Domme Chronicles […]

My Take on Cuckolding Fantasies

“So multiple people offered to throw in cash to get me to go to this event at $nerdhobby, I am so popular.” I’m not bragging, I’m surprised at my popularity and slightly bemused by the absurdity. His reaction is to miss a beat, face going suspicious, “Oh really? Who?” “The very gay $nerdhobbyguy, for one.” […]

Fuck Homophobia; Fuck Islamophobia

This is more like a one shot service announcement, but as a sexual libertine I wanted to put this out there, based on the Orlando tragedy: Fuck homophobia. Fuck blaming Muslims. As a non-American I don’t feel qualified to give more than an opinion on the subject of gun control (why do you need those? […]

Things I Am NOT Saying About Professional Dominants

As a follow up to my last post on the subject of dominatrices VS non-professionals, I’ve also been trying to share more of other people’s writings on the subject and make this more of a conversation, including on twitter. And of course I’m getting pushback because people think I dislike or don’t believe in professional […]

Not All Femdoms Are Sex Workers

Once again, an innocent question from a redditor reminds me of one of the problems that comes with being a non-professional dominant. Or really any conversation about femdom. I get messages from people in my inbox (I guess I seem authoritative) of various sites and this is not an unusual occurrence. Sometimes it’s a guy […]

On Femdom In Popular Culture

I guess one of the hardest parts of conventional heterosexual femdom is how damn disempowering it feels. Maybe some women get joy out of it in the porn and movie version, but in my perception, it takes the idea of female power and turns it into a grotesque parody, one propped up by a very narrow […]