#FemdomLife Update: My Friend Got Married, Male Burlesque, Attack of the Vanilla

Updates are more than a little slow lately, blame a friend getting married, a massive head cold and then a family visit.

I will share that we had the most gorgeous male burlesque dancer at the bachelorette. Miss Castle, on her way to becoming Mrs. Wolf-Castle,  is did all the traditions on her way to the altar, and we had a room full of women in good spirits, a belly dancing instructor and a double dose of burlesque, with Honeysuckle Pussywillow and Tristan Ginger. Miss Pussywillow was purringly perfect with her drunken disrobing act, all curves and carnival costume, but I mention Tristan because the male as sex object is an undeserved thing.

It was nice to be among that much raw female libido as Tristan stripped for us, not once, but twice. Although gender bending men is not my kink and his costume mixed masculine and feminine elements (corsets, leather jackets), he had a glorious body, which was oggled and approved of at full volume. Sub men take note, before you send me a “train me to serve dom women plz” message, start by maximizing your appearance. It simply can’t hurt.

Anyway when I wasn’t admiring the lovely dick cleavage above his c-string, marked by glorius red curls and a perfect V shape (I need to get laaaaaaid, guys), I was busy with slightly silly party games about the bride to be. It was a pretty awesome event all around, and even if it wasn’t explicitly kinky, it was a celebration of female sexuality.

The Maid of Honour, Lady Cobra, had her charming Scottish Mail Order Husband there, and somehow her ended up sans shirt in a tuxudo apron. The enthusiasm was very vocal as we threatened to strip him of more. Because nothing is more aggressive than a room full of tipsy women there to be naughty.  Hmmmmmm, who says women don’t love being domly? 😉

Meanwhile the wedding itself went off with more or less no hitches, and I’m extremely happy for the couple.  The bride, for my role in her wedding (I was official wedding bitch), gave me a scent charm necklace so beautiful I got teary eyed and smooched her. Eeeeeeee!

Of course I spent the whole thing sick with the mother of all head colds, and Wildcard and I seem to have decided the middle of wedding planning for other people was time to Unpack All The Difficult Conversations. Waaaaugh. After surviving this, I had about a week to recover before my brother hit Montreal.

Love that kid to death, but obviously the sexy updates are going to squeeze to a crawl while he’s here for two weeks. Our apartment is a bit less sound proofed than I’d like, and although a bondage tape gag has made our regular #punishTuesday possible, getting the sex in takes overcoming some challenges, much less sharing it.


Oh by the way, it’s blogging list season, so here’s a polite reminder to give me a vote. Just click the big “vote” button on my directory page!


Moronic Messages: Backpeddling Butthurt

There’s nothing a dominant woman likes more than being randomly solicited. This conversation took place in my inbox via reddit. I’d posted in a completely kink unrelated thread about the website policy, mentioning I was moderator of /r/femdomcommunity, and clearly this guy took it as a good reason to reach out.

Him: Hey…how’s it going? (kay, not so bad, but you know these kinds of things never end well)

Me: Hello! Well, I suppose… (be nice Pearl, he could be a lost newbie…)

Him: Curious- do you get a lot of random PMs like this?

Me: Once in a blue moon. Can I help you with something? (wait for it, wait for it…)

Him: Wanna be my online domme? I mean I’ve got Skype- want to instruct me as to what to do and stuff? I love taking orders… (BAM! There he goes!)

Me: Absolutely not. Do you think all female dominants provide some sort of online wanking assistance programming or something?
Or did you assume because I mentioned my sexual orientation I wanted to be solicited by randoms?

Him: JC. Only asking… calm down (because the best thing you can do is tell a woman she’s getting emotional)

Me: Fuck off. I was telling you very plainly what your mistake was, you don’t get to hide your bad manners behind curiosity and then accuse me of being unreasonable. You sexually solicited a stranger, you don’t get to control her reaction.

Do you think all female dominants provide some sort of online wanking assistance programming or something?

Or did you assume because I mentioned my sexual orientation I wanted to be solicited by randoms?

Him: You didn’t ‘plainly tell me what my mistake was’. Just sounded like you wanted something to bitch about. Why do you have to be mean? A simple yes/no will suffice. I didn’t force you to do it, just asked a question. (You got an answer buddy. Don’t whine.)

Me: Because you are a presumptive twit who just asked me “wanna cyber” because you saw femdom and assumed it meant I wanted to be solicited, and when I called you on it you acted like a butt hurt little bitch. Now go away.

Him: Stop looking for something to get pissed off at.

Me: Still talking? Waaah, waaaah. Guy with no social skills is mad strange woman didn’t respect him after he solicited her like a cheap whore. So sad!

Him: Ha I’m not the one who’s losing their temper, silly woman. (So submissive. Much respect for women. So very slave!)

Me: Awwww, look, he’s trying to hold frame!

Ladies, I bet he’s still single. 😉