In Which Domestic Servitude Didn’t Happen

spring-53-servantsRecently I experimented with interviewing a service sub.

Wildcard, bless him, responds to the constant trickle of male attention I get by being amused through to delighted. For the most part the attempts to scale Fortress Pearl tend to be alarmingly unfortunate- bad spelling and bigger egos demanding dynamics with me NOW before first names are even exchanged, much less confirmed.

Wildcard, who is as I describe to others, purely decorative, likes to read my fetlife messages, chortling at every unsolicited Goddess or presumptuous Mistress plz.  Recently, following a conversation focused on upgrading our cheap apartment, I attracted a service oriented sub. And he at least was a cut above the usual nonsense.

I like domestically fussy things. I have multiple pinterest boards devoted to that sort of foof, and Wildcard woo’ed me on my birthday with the gift of an Imperial Red Kitchenaid. But honestly, I’m very disorganized. You would think, given this fact and my orientation, I’d be awash in nice men scrubbing and polishing, but I’ve always shied away from domestic servitude.

I have never been able to put my finger on precisely why- maybe it’s being. Or maybe it’s because every hint of the experience has ended like so:

Enter “Servile” via a fetlife message. Other than a surprising devotion to misuse of ellipsis, he seems sincere enough. I make myself honest in my response- my profiles are not set to looking and this is not a fetish I’ve had any experience with outside of that one guy who did my dishes and tried to give me a Clocky.

And, I stressed the importance Wildcard had in my life, how he mattered to me and so on. This was all very well and good by Servile. He just wanted to serve, and according to him, served married women in the past. He was the cliche, high powered business dude who just wanted to let it all go on his hands and knees.

After a couple of weeks of banal back and forth in which I was bombarded with enthusiasm and he attempted to indicate if I ever wanted my feet seen to it would be pedicure city. Not my thing- I prefer to leave the pedicures to the professionals, but whatever…

A few things bugged me- first of all I didn’t like that he jumped straight into dynamic city, nor that he didn’t stop dropping his phone number, even though I had no intention of giving a stranger mine. He conveniently did not address my observation that such an experienced sub should have references.

But exeriences are meant to be had, so I suggested that we meet for tea at a local tea room far enough from my house to be safe, where upon a guy who looked nothing like his profile picture (a headless set of defined abs turned into a sort of brick shaped guy in a Ralph Lauren shirt) shyly attempted to kiss my hand. This resulted in a sour retraction of said limb- I do NOT do hand smootches from people trying to indicate they want to have a valet fantasy with me. The valet does NOT kiss the mistress.

Servile’s story included being the publisher of a fetish magazine with 3000 visits a day. Curious, I asked the name of such a popular publication- never heard of it, but I was willing to look it up. I admit a certain degree of pleasure in being able to waltz in like I owned the place.

We talked for a bit, mostly about him- conversation varying from him being a Very Important Business Man and the usual ‘ZOMG so pretty and imperious!’ I’m not going to lie, when nature gives you skin that makes A4 printer paper look sallow and tanned, inky hair, and a face with a nose that should have a carved naked wooden lady on it, I ain’t ever going to pull off girl next door. So it’s nice my body fits who I am.

Then the subject of references came up, something he seemed flabber ghasted by. He eventually dropped a few names I recognized, before producing the zinger that he was such a catch that obviously doms wouldn’t want to give him a reference. Because you know true doms won’t, right? For example [prodom] wouldn’t say nice thing about him because she wants his service. I happen to know [prodom], I’m relatively well connected, so this did not bode well.

Turns out the magazine is a facebook page with 3000 likes TOTAL. I contacted [prodom], who more than anything else, was confused as hell. So, nope. No valet for me. sorry Servile, your story has too many holes.

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2 Comments

  1. An all too familiar story from dominant women I’ve known, but I do have a KitchenAid food processor on my wishlist (Jalan already had the stand mixer).

    Domesticity FTW!

    Reply
  2. I’ve done this once (talked to someone about a pure service arrangement). It never happened either because it became clear that he had another agenda that he didn’t want to admit to in case it scared me off.

    I don’t understand how they think anything good can come of it (for either side). The level of wishful thinking is mind boggling.

    Ferns

    Reply

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