Femdomme Society University Tell All (Part 3)

This weekend, I looked into the website “Femdomme Society” to find out just precisely was their operating motives. According to their marketing copy, they offer themselves as a femdom community for doms and subs seeking to build a better world. In practice they are a “ladies get in free” style dating site that tries to get you to run cam shows while charging male members a monthly fee.

But, as part of their mission they offer a “University”, as a BDSM101. Sounds great, right? Just to make their audience feel extra special, there’s a doms only section of supposed secrets for helping them discover their feet. And as talked about here and here already, it’s bullshit, and harmful bullshit at that. But, since you stuck with me so far… onwards!

We wander into a list of suggested punishments and reminders that it is your responsibility to set up elaborate, enforced rules for the sub, and a blatant grab to get you to buy one of their supposedly highly effective “purge boxes”.  As usual the distinction between punishment and funishment is left ambiguous, with the idea that doms always have a duty to punish.

Of course a website like that wouldn’t be complete without pushing feminization and chastity play down everyone’s throats. Neither of these are bad, but one of the problems with contemporary femdom’s image is that these fetishes are treated like must haves or everyone.

With the latter, as usual, wrapped in reassurances that the cunnilingus will be worth it, and the former making no effort to deal with the fact that we just read several pages emphasizing how being more feminine would get to the heart of male submissive desires- so there’s an inherent disconnect that me wearing panties makes me powerful and him wearing panties makes him powerless. There’s a brief stop on watersports and other things like that, with the inaccurate statement that urine is “sterile”, which is a gross exaggeration that pee is less likely to make you sick than our taboos about bodily waste.

But, Femdomme society is also ready to speculate about why the femdom stereotype shtick is important:

Remember Men create the majority of FemDom stories, pictures and images to express how powerful Women are in their eyes and how weak they feel in a Woman’s presence. These images represent what men are really feeling inside. The poet and the song writer use words and the artist uses visual images to express their inner feelings. So when a Woman displays that “image” by donning a fetish outfit, or saying a term, or using Her voice in a certain manner, She touches the male submissive nature and triggers his feelings and desires, thus he becomes weak and helpless. Then the Woman can interact with the man with all barriers and defense mechanisms down. Now She is free to interact with the man in a more meaningful way. Now true intimacy and bonding can take place between the Woman and the man because She now can see Herself as he does.

See, the problem here is that we’re back to man-pleasing in the name of dominance. Now I don’t doubt it’s nice to make each other happy, but this just isn’t something that gets inflicted on maledoms. Which is why no matter how many corsets you lace yourself into, you’re not going to bring about a world revolution by making people desire your body, and you will be doing it at expense of your own sexuality, supplanting it with the desire-to-be-desired.

We’ve reached the end of the “Uniersity” so now they take the time to speak directly as website owners. Someone in the comments already compared this to Scientology, but the comparison to a cult really stands out when they explain the website rankings. Just joining gets you to “dame”. Finish reading their bogus educational pages and you can call yourself…”Madame”. If you agree to an interview with them to go on their website, you get promoted to “Baroness”. The title are of course meaningless, but create an artificial ranking system that of course goes back to making you sound like you wandered out of an exploitation flick.

But I suppose you were wondering where all this was going… The grand finale:

Once you achieve the rank of Baroness you will qualify for our affiliate program. What is it? It is a way for you to share in the profits of the Society. How does it work? First all Women on the site have a free membership, providing them full access, but men do not, they must upgrade to either a monthly membership of $28 or to a life time member of a single payment of $125 to gain full access, otherwise they have limited access as a silver member. Please keep in mind the cost of operating the Society, retreat and website is hefty. But we operate on a profit sharing basis, because the purpose of the Society is not to generate revenue, but rather to ensure that anyone who wishes to explore this life style has a safe place to do it. OK back to profit sharing. Once you are a Baroness you will qualify for our Affiliate Program, by setting up your affiliate application you will get your own admin section that allows you to keep track of any submissive that upgrade and enter your ID number as their sponsoring Domme. You will earn $14.95 for each monthly member! Every month that he continues with his membership, so it is always good to follow up with them and keep them active. To put this in perspective, if you have 50 guys who have upgraded to a Gold , monthly membership and they entered your ID number when first upgraded then you will earn. $747 each month. If a submissive upgrades to a Platinum, life time membership, you will get a one time payment of $50. The best way to have the website work for you, is to visit your myaccount section. On the right hand side you will see banners, These banner are specifically coded to your profile. Copy and paste the code in the white box, and place it on other websites, facebook, myspace or your blog and that banner will appear there. Anytime someone clicks on the banner, we track them, and if they upgrade to paying they earn you money.

Look, I have nothing against needing money, but this is practically next door to a pyramid scheme. It’s essentially telling you that you should be actively recruiting men and encouraging them to spend money… for what? To build a female led world based on being conventionally feminine to trick men into dressing in a conventionally feminine fashion?

Instead we have a scheme that encourages female members to recruit male members for money, offering and unhealthy, male pleasing idea of femdom to line the pockets of the “Baronesses”, or more to the point, the website owners.

52 thoughts on “Femdomme Society University Tell All (Part 3)”

  1. Huh so its a money grabbing waste. Makes sense. I went to it and found that only the ‘stats’ field was viewable to all. Interesting bit about the affiliate program though. Didnt know that

  2. Quite apart from your clinical dissection of the content, there’s something about the language and style that screams ‘Ponzi’.

    A half-decent education system would have English classes that taught kids how to analyse advertising copy and the ways in which it deforms and debases language for its own ends.

    • Precisely speaking it’s a labour based Ponzi scheme- the “dommes” get flattered and offered to make money, and they provide sales by soliciting guys, either the horde of morons who already message them or via messaging lonely guys. The women generally use the “prove your devotion!” line, which is perpetuated by the idea that male subs don’t actually deserve love like every other human on the planet.

      The guys buy memberships, and finding themselves suckered, either wander off complaining about fakes or just get cheated out of what they think they’re buying.

  3. This is one of the issues I personally have about Femdom in general (or, rather, how it’s presented).

    At the end of the day, it’s almost entirely about turning the woman in a fetish object for the man. It focuses on what the man wants from the Domme, and never really about the Domme herself. It’s literally a list of “How to get your man!” from Cosmo, except with a coat of fetish paint-on-latex.

  4. First Of all I Have Been a member there For Over 3 yrs and No I do Not Get paid any Money to host webcams,But I am Giving Myself and My Knowledge to The community.Teaching and forever Learning..Fem Domme Society Is In Fact Real People and Real Community.
    I Myself Have met several local slaves there and to ME which is a Better then The Less then fortunate fucktards from Collar ME or Dommeslave or even Fetlife which half the people on those sites are not even whom they say they are,

    Atleast On FemDomme Society They Screen the So called Dommes and subs with Web Cam verification and they also Remove tons of fake Profiles which I cannot say the Other web sites do.
    I have always trusted FDS when It comes to finding True submissive slaves with a TRUE desire to serve,Now I collared one from there,who turns out is a loyal trusting Full slave whom gives his submission to ME as a gift,with Nothing In Return..

    I myself have Been living this Lifestyle for Over 13 yrs, and Yes I do Pro work aswell,But nevertheless I always can trust The Fem Domme Society they are Known as world wide,and all of the People that Run The site Work For FREE,Noone gets paid there,Yes the slaves either male or female who are full paying Members that money they Pay to become a full Member goes back into the society to make changes and Upgrade software for the Site..And there Is NO Affiliate Program there..Don’t be so Quick to Judge other sites try it Maybe you’ll find something Useful there

    • They do no such thing, Countess. There is no “screening” other than the interviews, and I specifically copy pasted a call to join their affiliate program that finishes the bullshit and badly written “University”. I can assume that you are affiliated with the website, in which case, tell your boss hi.

  5. I don’t have a Boss But I will say Hi anyway,I have been screened several times ..I have an answer for your Questions..Maybe if you were NEW to the site someone May have reported you for a “fake profile” Humm Maybe you are Just Bitter about It,anyway enjoy your Life and Have fun Blogging about somethings you obviously know nothing about

  6. LOL you don’t get it do you?? Every Female Dominant across the world wide usa and Or Entire country Is a Sister in some sort of Sisterhood,That is how I roll,Wow someone with your Lack Of Intellegence,Should understand that,But I gather you are one of those Little princesses who sits By the internet day in day out struggeling to make ends meet by Blogging on a FREE WORDPRESS Blog..Wow I envy you..Damage Control take page out of your Own Book honey lol.

    The Fem Domme Society Site Is designed with Female Supremacy.in mind for True females Who Love the Idea that Men are worthless weak minded Pieces of shit-Females in General are above men.Obviously you of your Own Stature Knows Nothing about anything and your call yourself a Dominant!! I gather you Live in your Pretend castle with your Pretend slaves and think you are Better then Everyone else..What a Crock if that is the Case FDS is for you..

    • “Every Female Dominant across the world wide usa and Or Entire country Is a Sister in some sort of Sisterhood”

      A SisTerHOod oF RanDom CaPItal letteRs?

      Did you actually read the website you’re defending?

    • Countess,

      “..Who Love the Idea that Men are worthless weak minded Pieces of shit” I signed up there not too long ago and immediately deleted my account because the whole site seemed like nothing but a joke. And to say that men are worthless weak minded pieces of shit? You don’t deserve to have a submissive male partner if that is your view of submissive men, or men at all! Countess by the way means to be a noblewoman and you are not a noblewoman. You only show a lack of intelligence with your comments of hate towards men.


  7. I am a Baroness on the Fem Domme Society, and also a Lifestyle and Professional Dominatrix with 18 yrs in the BDSM Lifestyle. I can say that, Miss Pearl, you are the one who has gotten mixed signals about exactly WHAT the Society is about. So I will enlighten you about it.

    Firstly, it a Female Dominated website. To sign up is FREE, submissive males/females start off with Silver Memberships with the option of UPGRADING to Gold or Platinum. Dommes (and next time get your Grammar correct) Sign up and hold Gold Memberships with the option of UPGRADING to Platinum. The Membership Upgrade fees go back into the maintenance of the website and helps to protect against fake Dommes who prey on men for money. Yes they do remove ALL FAKE PROFILES and catalog all IP addresses in the event that someone logs in from that same address online. Female Dommes are Cam-Certified by a member of the LOC (Ladies-of-the Court) to ensure that they are real once they achieve “Baroness” level (this rule is new, as it was not in place when I joined two years ago). Cam-Interviews are NOT recorded due to the fact that SOME members do not wish to be known. This is because some have very “High Profile” jobs. Like really do they want to be known for their extracurricular dealings? No they don’t.

    Secondly, the Affiliate program is a means to promote business to the website. No one gets “perks” for joining the website. Yes, W/we get “points” towards the Monthly Contest (and if you read the ENTIRE website you would know about that). Unowned submissives have the option of “donating” their points earned thru members voting on video clips, photos, uploads, and posting of stories to the Domme of their choosing. The winner of the Monthly contest gets Free equipment courtesy of JT Stockroom! The Fem Domme Society encourages All of it’s members to Complete the Domme/Sub/Sissy University to ensure that ALL of their members are on the same level/experience. If someone has questions, that is what the Live Advice Hour with Lady Pain Dragon, or The Advice Column (which can be found on the Communications Page) are for.

    To bash a website simply because YOU do not understand the full workings is simply wrong. Read everything more carefully before you decide to bash a website of people who LIVE in this wondrous Lifestyle. Oh, and by the way, I have friends on that website who have won the Monthly contest more than once and are PROUD to be a member of such a wonderful Sisterhood.

    If by chance you are wither a disgruntled Domme who was banned because your Profile was deleted for being a fake (including all photos which can be verified via Google with a single right click) or a submissive male with a grudge against a Domme who outed you for being a fake and a wanker, then know that Fem Domme Society is not going to take this indiscretion lightly.

    • I copy pasted everything here directly from your website, under fair use for review purposes. Your “University” is a terrible bunch of bullshit that you should be ashamed to publish and to be honest, I’m not really impressed with the fact that you have “friends”. Actually you’re defending the monthly contest pretty hard or something I haven’t taken a crack at. Is there something you’d like to confess?

      Frankly if you are still harping on the “disgruntled dom/sub!” angle, that’s kind of sad. As I said to the other person who commented, any idiot can join your website and you take no means to verify who or what they are unless they actively seek you out. Nor do I have a single problem with you profiting from your website- you’re just peddling a bunch of misinformation and actively advocating that doms try to promote your website through an affiliate program that’s pretty clearly spelled out. If you don’t like the fact that people on the internet disagree with you, get used to disappointment.

    • Lady Pain Dragon?

      FINALLY! Someone with a worse pseudonym than mine! Thank goodness!

      Question: Why would Sisterly Sisters of the Divine Leather Hot Pants need *free* equipment? With all those “High Profile” jobs and financial slaves, I think accepting free equipment would just be a Divine Insult to Baronesses (what’s the plural… Baroni?) such as yourself. Right?

      “Dommes (and next time get your Grammar correct)”

      What grammar handbook are you using, Vicious? I’m not familiar with your conventions.

  8. As someone who clearly “out ranks” you on FDS, you obviously must be someone who should not be on Our website. Disrespecting Dommes of higher rank than yourself (you are listed as Madame, I am a Baroness), is shameful in the least. However, I do not OWN the website,

    As for the information in the University, if you have a complaint, then take it up with the LOC!! All information that is in the Domme University, is from multiple sources and from other Dommes who have insight into such matters of what works and what doesn’t work. If you have an idea, let them know.

    • “Out ranks”? I find it slightly alarming that you think signing up to a website gives you a rank over anyone. Which, I suppose illustrates how useless the “Femmedomme Society” is, if one pesky person can tell you that you’re being silly.

  9. This is the funniest set of loony comments I’ve read for a long long time. Seriously, the crazy-caps, the ‘I outrank you on some random website’ schtick. Comedy gold!


    O Miss Pearl… thank you kindly.


    • OMG — what’s with the random caps? Why is “Much” capitalized? I MUST KNOW!


      — You need a period between ‘member’ and ‘here.’
      — If Pearl is the bitch and the profile is Pearl’s, then ‘bitch’ is possessive and should be in its possessive form: ‘bitch’s.’ ‘Bitches’ (plural) means more than one bitch and does not indicate ownership.
      — Pearls are not ‘bad oysters.’ Pearls typically come from oysters (though they can also come from mussels and clams and other organisms with similar anatomy).

  10. I’m not wasting my time on your stupid site I speak My mind just like you do..I was sent to your site by someone from fds..funny how that works..I ‘m gathering you might aswell Cancel your membership due to the owners know what you posted and you’ll be shit canned in no time,write all about me on twitter I really don’t give a shit,All you cunts have nothing Better to do then blog your dull boring lives away..

    • It is amazing that the first (and only) insults or replies you can come up with are gendered insults attempting to shame women, and womens bodies. Almost as if you hold women in disdain in general.

      • Good morning ladies, this hilarious exchange of utter nonsense almost tempts me back to blogging to add balance to the sanity side. I would join for the titles alone if it didn’t sound quite so much like a society for elderly homosexuals. Dame to Baroness- how camp is that!!! I love it. At least I’m a Queen 🙂

        And calling people “cunts” on a femdom blog? Now that does not compute….

        There’s always this section of society seeking neat little organised religions to avoid the burden of ownership of developing their own personal life philosophies. And there’s usually a hungry marketing machine with a billing engine to accommodate them. At least these are funnier in their foaming than Scientologists.


        • William is the name of the guy that owns this site. I have the rest of his personal information, but unlike him I’m not big into breaking laws. Even though my father is a judge I don’t get privlidges when it comes to breaking the law.

          William (under the name Lexi) tried to create a competing website with FDS and failed miserably.

          He used a bunch of pics, including mine and ignored the DMCA so Me and the other girls he stole pics of wrote DMCA’s to his server and all the pics went down. He then went fatalistic and left a bunch of threatening voice mails on my phone. I’ve saved them for posterity. I think I will make them into a nice mp3 to share. I called the local police and they went write to his door in CO.

          • I’m neither William nor Lexi, but if you want I’ll do a post on that particular saga of your site’s history if you can provide evidence- ie voicemails etc…

  11. Opearl Just another bitter hater. Let me guess…you are ticked because you got booted when you got caught making up a fake profile? You know you are not the first guy/girl to write an ode to I hate FDS. I’d tell you to Grow up but I do so love to see the idiocy of those who know nothing about FDS claim to know everything. If you really disliked the site why spend so much time writing about it? Hmmmm Sounds like a case of sour grapes and immaturity by someone who has been rejected.

  12. BTW guys and gals its a social networking site with a little bit of structure for good measure. Similar to facebook or myspace for those with a kinky side. Of course just like these sites it is what you make it. Also I just skimmed this blog all the way back to 2011. WOW You have put some serious time and effort into hating FDS. Are you the guy who got kicked off fet life for this stuff? I kind of remember you. You had your ass handed to you on a plate from the admin. That was pretty funny. Any time any one puts this much effort into something they hate it’s not because they hate it, its because they want it and it rejected them. Any way, good luck finding whatever fame you seek. You probably wont find it as the number one hater of, well, anything. Maybe you should think about making something instead of focusing on TRYING to tear stuff down? You’ve been attacking FDS for over a year and they are still there.

  13. William William William. For those who don’t know Lexi is actually a Guy by the Name William. He tried to create a competing website with FDS and failed miserably.

    He used a bunch of pics, including mine and ignored the DMCA so Me and the other girls he stole pics of wrote DMCA’s to his server and all the pics went down. He then went fatalistic and left a bunch of threatening voice mails on my phone. I’ve saved them for posterity. I think I will make them into a nice mp3 to share. I called the local police and they went write to his door in CO. You still live there?

    If you continue this type of harassment you can expect to find yourself right back in jail billy boy. Or at the very least at the nasty end of a lawsuit. We’ve found you…again. You know what happened to you last time you harassed our site. Probably not a good idea.

      • Oh I’ll post it but not on your site. You crave attention and if you can’t get it by creating you just create a bunch of profile to pretend this site is active hoping to draw attention to yourself by the rest of us who have built something. This is my last post to you dear william, lexi, alexus, pearl or whatever your name is at this moment. Now I’m going to sit back and let the system handle you.

  14. Cyberbullying vs. cyberstalking
    Further information: Cyberstalking

    The practice of cyberbullying is not limited to children and, while the behavior is identified by the same definition when practiced by adults, the distinction in age groups sometimes refers to the abuse as cyberstalking or cyberharassment when perpetrated by adults toward adults.[5] Common tactics used by cyberstalkers are performed in public forums, social media or online information sites and are intended to threaten a victim’s earnings, employment, reputation, or safety. Behaviors may include encouraging others to harass the victim and trying to affect a victim’s online participation. Many cyberstalkers try to damage the reputation of their victim and turn other people against them.

    Cyberstalking may include false accusations, monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information in order to harass.[6] A repeated pattern of such actions and harassment against a target by an adult constitutes cyberstalking. Cyberstalking often features linked patterns of online and offline behavior. There are consequences of law in offline stalking and online stalking, and cyber-stalkers can be put in jail.[7] Cyberstalking is a form of cyberbullying.[citation needed]
    Methods used

    Manuals to educate the public, teachers and parents summarize, “Cyberbullying is being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material using a cell phone or the internet.” Research, legislation and education in the field are ongoing. Basic definitions and guidelines to help recognize and cope with what is regarded as abuse of electronic communications have been identified.

    Cyberbullying involves repeated behavior with intent to harm and repeated nature
    Cyberbullying is perpetrated through Harassment, Cyberstalking, Denigration (sending or posting cruel rumors and falsehoods to damage reputation and friendships), Impersonation, Exclusion (intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group)[8]

    Cyberbullying can be as simple as continuing to send e-mails or text messages harassing someone who has said they want no further contact with the sender. It may also include public actions such as repeated threats, sexual remarks, pejorative labels (i.e., hate speech) or defamatory false accusations), ganging up on a victim by making the person the subject of ridicule in online forums, hacking into or vandalizing sites about a person, and posting false statements as fact aimed a discrediting or humiliating a targeted person.[9] Cyberbullying could be limited to posting rumors about a person on the internet with the intention of bringing about hatred in others’ minds or convincing others to dislike or participate in online denigration of a target. It may go to the extent of personally identifying victims of crime and publishing materials severely defaming or humiliating them.[2]

    Cyberbullies may disclose victims’ personal data (e.g. real name, home address, or workplace/schools) at websites or forums or may use impersonation, creating fake accounts, comments or sites posing as their target for the purpose of publishing material in their name that defames, discredits or ridicules them. This can leave the cyberbully anonymous which can make it difficult for the offender to be caught or punished for their behavior. Though, not all cyberbullies use anonymity. Text or instant messages and emails between friends can also be cyberbullying if what is said or displayed is hurtful to the participants.

    Some cyberbullies may also send threatening and harassing emails, instant messages or texts to the victims. Others post rumors or gossip and instigate others to dislike and gang up on the target.

    Wow you’ve done a lot of all of this. It seems to me like someones in trouble yet again.

    • Copy-pasting wikipedia’s article on “cyberbullying” doesn’t actually make your case that you’re being bullied. I did a review of FDS, which is fair use, including information that is publicly available. Mr. Lorimer is known to be the director of the company that the domain name of FDS is registered to, the website makes the claim that it is not profit oriented, and I disagree with the “University” as it stands as an informational source.

      I don’t know any of you people, nor would I care to. You can’t even make a case for hate speech here, nor anything other than a negative review of a company’s business practices.

  15. Oh Mr lasher Your about to spend a ton of money and time in court. Just because you used a website that is specifically designed to provide service to people denegrate others doesn’t protect you. No no. A simple police report and a subpena gets all your info. First the cops come to your door and arrest you. Then you post bail and go before another judge, maybe you will have a lawyer maybe you wont but it will cost you money. Since you have priors the chances of you doing more time are pretty good. Then while your spending time and money, money I know you don’t have defending these legal charges then you are going to get zapped with a nice big fat civil suit. I know you have nothing but the computer your typing on has to be worth something. See you in court.

  16. Dear Miss Pearl,
    Thank you for the articles. Although I did not read everything, what I did read confirmed what I suspected from the beginning, that the site is a scam. I got my first Red Flag when i received a message from a woman on Collarspace, another sorry excuse for a “social networking” site. This woman thanked me for viewing her profile and said I seem like one of the few real people on Collarspace, which I found impressive considering she did not visit my profile. Anyway she asked me to join FemDomme Society and we can chat there as it’s free. Well I did, but she never bothered to chat with me. In fact, I rarely ever see anyone in the chat rooms. I couldn’t help but wonder why she wanted me to sign up for the site. i assumed she would get a commission or something similar, although she did not give an affiliate link with which to sign up.

    The second Red Flag came when I received a number of messages from female members. Apparently they paid the almost $30/month to upgrade so they can send messages to other members, but I don’t know, it just didn’t make sense. So many women paying a membership just to write to men? Also, many of the messages were so vague, most didn’t mention my username, and were mostly one line messages. I did write to one of the few women who did include her email address in her message, but she wrote short grammatically incorrect messages and her last message was so nonsensical I didn’t even reply. I guess the owner just sends out messages with email addresses just to have some fun with anyone who replies.

    Well I was tempted to “upgrade,” but I can’t spare the money right now, and I was still very suspicious. I was even tempted to start a forum on Fetlife asking if FDS is a scam. However, it seems the site owners are desperate to get $ out of me because the latest “members” who wrote me addressed me by my username, and one woman supposedly in Manhattan invited me to meet her for drinks. Oh and by the way, I don’t drink and mentioned that on my profile. Nonetheless I was also tempted to upgrade so I can write her, but then i saw this series of articles and changed my mind.

    I’ll be deleting my account soon. Can’t say I’m surprised it’s all bogus, though I will say some of the women are quite attractive. But not enough to shell out $30/month. Also not surprised it’s all some kind of affiliate moneymaking site. Nothing wrong with that, IF that’s what you promote it as.

    By the way, regarding my comments on Collarspace. I’ve been a member there for several years, and I never had much success on it, except for one women for whom I was a houseboy for a few months. Most of the women to whom I wrote never responded, just as on Fetlife, but now it seems most of the members are either fakes or “findommes”. At least the ones here in the NYC area.

    Anyway, thank you again for the interesting articles.

    PS I do consider myself a bit of a submissive. I never read the “university” stuff, but for me, I just welcome the chance to serve a woman of whom I am fond, and doing whatever I can to make and keep her happy. Seems simple enough, but almost impossible to achieve.


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