So to complicate matters, I’ve been suffering from some health problems lately. This can be very frustrating: as well as interfering with work, it’s hard to get your dom on when you are taking extensive naps.
It’s not fun, and most of my mental energy’s being spent on getting better. My body has taken to this via shedding weight at a rate now leading to people announcing how tiny I am. This has meant a surprising amount of reconciling myself to new, reduced flesh.
Self image-wise, I’ve always been blessed that I wasn’t bothered by my weight- and never got particular pressure to be a particular size. The bone structure I inherited is very rangy, maybe gangly if I wasn’t of average height. Puberty gave me an ass, and even finding myself going all disordered eating seems not to shift that, even as I start to see the notched bones between my breasts, and my dress size has plummeted, something that’s supposed to make one happy, but mostly pisses me off because now my underpants don’t fit.
At the start of the summer, Wildcard and I went co-hab, me moving in over top of him to the official designation of “Sexy Roommates”, a fairly straight forward process that took about two car loads and merged our kitchenware, as well as necessitating the purchase of a place to cram my clothing into. It also means going from living out of a drawer and a bit of a mess, to sort of soaking into an already existing structure.
Summer isn’t my favourite set of months, and even less so to Wildcard, who belongs in tweed and wool on a moor somewhere- despite many references on his part to his Arabic heritage as part of his identity, he has climate temperament of a Brit, and a Northern one at that. Summer is one long migraine broken up by rare rain, not helped by weather in Montreal that decided that this year storm clouds were going to perpetually sit over the city with about the same utility as Tantalus’s grapes.
So add one less than happy partner plus me dealing with not being in top form and I’d describe the whole thing as one long stress test. This is not to say we’ve stopped doing kink- on the contrariwise we’ve started a weekly session on Tuesdays that we’ve both been finding very satisfying, but I wouldn’t exactly say it’s been an easy time for either of us. Certainly we’re both anticipating the fall with a certain degree of enthusiasm.
Meanwhile I’ve stepped up the aggressiveness to which I am making sure people are aware of my side trade in freelance writing. The derpy banner add is an experiment of sorts, to see where that goes.