All posts in category O Guide Me

Reader Letter: Embracing Femdom As A Beginner

So this question popped up in my fetlife feed, and with the original author’s permission I reprinted. So, I have a lot if issues. I’m new to all this and really need a mentor in general. [To keep things short] I’m going to try my best to narrow things down and hopefully find some help […]

9 Reasons to Block and Delete a Sub Sending You a Message

Female dominants get messages, partnered or unpartnered, searching or trying to hide. In honour of the recent batch of crazy letters and threats, I’ve created a quick guide for new femdoms for signs you should save yourself the trouble and delete the message now. If any of these nine behaviors have come up in the […]

8 Things You Could Be Doing To Help Find A Femdom

One of the first questions people ask after realizing that they have submissive fantasies is how they can find a femdom. The standard advice, which nobody can escape, is that you’ve got to meet a lot of people until something clicks. On the other hand, if you’ve been looking for a while and nothing’s working, […]

Reader Letter: Psychological BDSM & 24/7 Submission

A reader recently wrote in to ask about 24/7 submission, psychologically intense BDSM and how they can go about finding a partner who is into that idea. Do you have any advice for someone who’s looking to become a slave to a woman permanently? I’ve been reading stories for a while but I don’t have […]

When Kink Limits Change & More Caretaking Challenges

I encountered a really tough problem recently on reddit: My sub’s ingratitude is destroying our relationship. I took him under my wing. When I met him, he was another college drop-out with no body to speak of. Thanks to my guidance, he now has a good job, goes to gym regularly and looks his best. […]

15 Things I Wish I’d Known as a New Femdom

While I’ve always had an inclination in the direction of kinky, even before my sexuality was much of a coherent thing, for much of my life I didn’t really know how to describe what I wanted and I certainly didn’t always know how to get what I wanted. Finding out the word was “dominant” was […]

33 Things Every Submissive Man Should Know

1) We are people too, and all the vanilla courtesies still apply. For you as well as me. 2) Don’t fawn all over us; you will sound like a tool. Don’t call us “Mistress“, “Goddess” or “Lady” unless we tell you to. Don’t try to act like our sub without our consent- anymore than you’d […]

The Big Mistake Even Good Submissive Men Make When Looking For A Femdom

Male subs, stop asking for the relationship you don’t actually want with a dominant woman. This pertains to you, the guy who is thoughtfully and carefully filling out a profile to put his best foot forward on the internet, or sending out your messages nervously and respectfully as you can, to try to convince what you […]

Why A Special Protocol To Approach Dominant Women Is A Dumb Idea

Brief break from emotional gut spilling and porn, for something that was sitting in drafts- a rant on why it’s a bad idea to try to develop a universal approach for doms. This one gets bandied about on forums a lot- how to reach out to dominant women in a way that’s not offensive to […]

Reader Letter: Second Thoughts After Pushing A Limit

We have our second ever reader letter! SecondThoughts is brave enough to share their experience with exploring limits and what can go wrong. Hi Miss Pearl, First off, long time lurker, first time poster. Me and my play partner, are both newish to BDSM. We were discussing for something trying to push one of my […]