What in heaven’s name did I just read? This is a gothic lesbian sex farce. In the large part it is amusing, but brute force style, and full of awkward inconsistencies amidst the self indulgence. I would best describe it as having class clown energy, cracking jokes at any cost to itself. When it is working, the vibes are a contemporary Ruddigore, when it isn’t it hits moments you aren’t sure it was trying to be humorous and may have just unintentionally fallen on its face.
Thus while it gave me more than a few chuckles on purpose, you also get moments like the scene when the evil villian (Lord Harkness) pats his horse and announces after a few bearings and fuckings and the protagonist (Posey) will be just like his mare. And one is left pondering if this is intended to imply he has had sex with his horse? It’s very hard to tell. Tongue might be very firmly in cheek here, but then the book is chomping about so wildly it still manages to bite it off.
Which is probably strike 1 of the book, but not a problem that’s entirely unredeeming. Accidental pratfalls can still be funny. Where it does drag the most is major problem 2. For a Lesbian romance, characters are inordinately preoccupied with men. In the titular Lady Venom’s case, murdering them and in Poesy’s case, describing in detail their immense ugliness. If I wanted to complain about awful men there’s perfectly good heterosexuality for that. I think they were trying for the fantasy of being able to reject the idea that only M/f could be happily ever after, instead it ended up delivering political lesbianism.
This is made more so bewildering by a cast of ghostly servants that include several jovial male phantoms who nod along with the endless dialogue about how nice killing men is. And that the 11th hour reveal that the domme character in the romance might be responsible for the misogyny the protagonist grew up with through some sort of series of whimsical misunderstandings. Which happens so fast and randomly that it’s almost incoherent.
Of course there’s certainly ways you can do a splatterpunk rejection of having anything to do with straightness, but the tone here is just so unstable that it gets in the way of the good pastoral cottagecore escape bits.
Consistency is something the book struggles with in the sex parts, too, going from lots of gentle femdom/pleasure from scenes with nothing more dramatic to fingering to the lead suddenly being consensually fucked with a novelty dildo described as being as thick as her bicep and able to make her bleed enough to coat the dildo. Again tonally unclear if this was severe vaginal tearing as one might expect from a more or less unprepped large insertion, or ham handed cherry popping drama? Probably the latter given the book layers things with the literal presence of that fruit as a symbol for the thing Posey had that Lady Venom wanted, but not skillfully done enough to make that clear. Especially not since everything else in this book was tell, so an interlude trying to lean on show will just be awkward.
Asides from that, my more essential problem is not a flaw. It’s a feature the author intended, that I am not the target audience.
This is submissive wish fulfillment, the fantasy that a literal magic dominant will immediately treat you like the most beloved, sexy thing ever and indulgently orally service you to as many orgasms as possible (or guide you through masturbation for their enjoyment) while lavishing you with praise and gifts. All you need to do is tell the dominant you like them and presto! Suddenly you are the most special subbie that ever subbed and the dominant lavishes you with more praise for appreciating them. That’s just not going to be my thing.
Of course self indulgent sub fantasies are perfectly valid, but in finding fiction for me instead of for a sub, this is a perennial problem. Dominants are, by and large, the fetish *object* when we are featured, not the audience. As a result Lady Venom (aka Alabaster Beaudelaire) is endlessly giving and inexplicably into a protagonist who offers nothing more compelling than wanting to stay in a palace where she is cosseted and every need is catered to.
If I am to imagine myself in Lady Venom’s shoes, what is in it for me, here?
I mean, sure. The little hide-away palace with delicious food and infinite hobby dress making, training in ninja like combat skills and hot people who care about you in the most reassuring way possible would be nice. And who wouldn’t want magically intelligent animals who protect and serve you and ghosts that make you gourmet food, but also enjoy having you hobby bake in their kitchen? The ghosts even act like wise best friends when you are needing a pick me up but have no personal needs beyond housing! It’s a fantasy story and it’s good to daydream. No criticism if this is your dream.
But when I am going to self indulge, I want to be the fussed over one. My silliest, most selfish fantasies where everyone either loves me or falls in a hole and I am so comfy and secure and rewarded do not require my submission as the price of admission. And so many books about BDSM do focus on that theme: Surrender yourself and then get everything handed to you by the dominant.
Which is counter to the core of this project’s purpose, finding writing that constructively gives dominants what they want. Whether guide books for practical exploration in the real world or romance for comfort, titillation or inspiration it’s a difficult needle to thread that needs more than just that a dominant happens to be female in this particular context or story. Lady Venom Takes A Mistress isn’t pretending to be anything but a goofy, campy frolic, but in recommendations the only endorsement I could give would it might be a good birthday gift for the sapphic sub in your life.