8 Things to Buy for Your Domme For Valentine’s Day 2021

Yes, you have four weeks until the holiday. But postage delivery is slammed and everyone is shopping online this year, so I’m giving you a curated list now. As with my last gift guide, what to buy your domme for valentine’s day leans heavily to small businesses and independent makers, particularly kinky ones.

One of a Kind Rope Ceramics by Lexi Pots

It’s a small vessel that stealthily communicates a love of bondage, the unique texture and glazing of this ropework clay pot is pretty enough to put out in public, and quiet enough not to make the wrong people ask questions.

Designer (Potter? Yeah, potter is the right word here…) Lexi makes each by hand, throwing similarly patterned mugs and other vessels, in rough hemp look or detailed lace. Her shop is new- up until recently she worked by commission, and the one of a kind nature of her work means that if you want something shipped in time, buying sooner rather than later is better.

Archer and Olive Bullet Journal in “Secret Keepers”

The fancy must have item in the planning community might have gotten it’s primacy through aggressive influencer marketing, but the Secret Keeper is undeniably beautiful. At $32 USD it comes in a fancy gift box and promising a higher weight of no bleed through paper, while the dot grid is a discreet way of helping your line work and handwriting look less sloppy.

Yes, this caught my eye as a personal coveted item, because while the maker also offers flowers, moons and other trendy designs I am a sucker for the symbolism of keys.

Pair it with a decent set of markers, or a nice calligraphy pen. Stickers aren’t a bad idea, either. Whether your domme decides to use it to doodle or to strictly track your progress, it’s a prestige item whose stamped brass-to-gold keys let you overlap femdom pride with artistic organizing.

Silver Anatomical Heart Locket by Peggy Skemp

An ominous anatomical heart locket offers a delightfully macabre way to express love. There’s dozens of designs on the market now, in all sorts of metals and price points. I picked this one as it’s got a directly traceable designer and fairly old pedigree (2009!).

I’ve seen these offered in materials ranging from resin to brass, and in every size from mouse to cat, but I like that the inside of this locket looks shaped to be the heart chambers, rather than ending the attention to detail.

Fill your locket with a very small nude, a secret only your domme gets to keep, or your credit card number and pin. You know your domme best.

Rose Flogger by Art of Whips

The rose flogger is not a new concept, and by now it’s available in a rainbow of colours real roses can’t be found in. So, why this one? Review of quality matters, because the rose and blossom flogger makes for a small sacrifice of structural stability over aesthetics.

Fragile or not, it’s a fully functional impact play tool, with a pleasant extra weight in the petaled falls and a nice balance at the end of a swing.

Art of Whips has a reliable star rating, which bodes well for it’s chance not to explode after a few snaps on the butt and back of a deserving bottom. Don’t skimp here, nothing’s sadder than dishing out the thud only to accidentally behead your weapon.

Catherine D’Lish Deluxe Maribou Trimmed Robe in Merlot

deluxe femme fatale robe

Is your domme feminine? Heck, are they anything on the spectrum other than butch? Your dominant wants this fancy robe for Valentine’s day. I want this robe. I want her/them to have this robe. Hell, I want YOU to have this robe.

However, if she already owns it… then get her another one in a different colour. Seriously, it’s the femme fatale extravagance that launched a thousand imitators. At $500 US you might be tempted to get a copy instead, but don’t. It’s every bit as lush and soft as pictured and the knock offs will disappoint.

And if you really must, yes there’s a ruffled vegan option and a glossy satin version. Regardless of your pick, with a likely high demand, you should get it now. You can thank me later. ^_^

Daddy has No Gender Sticker

Because I know a lot of dommes who are also Daddy, although my own personal tastes lead heavy femme and I’m surprisingly rigid in titles (for someone she uses she/they), I would be remiss not to toss this item into the Valentine’s tribute pile.

Daddy has No Gender” is particularly affordable to add to a card, maybe along with a meal out, or a nice boot blacking session. Or just as a little something for those broke-and-queer folx.

Certainly, I definitely do have a favourite pair of very vintage Doc Martins in my cupboard that make me feel dominant and tough, so it might not be *my* favourite word I can be glad there’s more aesthetics out there for us.

Red PVC Mask by Cybill Troy

There’s a lot of different masks in the shop, 5 Point 6 Roentgen, so it was a hard task to choose a favourite. In the end, although there’s a constantly updating stock of options, I had to go with the shiny number on the left.

I was a bit concerned, at least at first that a vinyl face mask was going to be a non-starter. The material might be fashion (and fetish) forward but a covid mask isn’t supposed to block all air, just particles. However, I can say from owning the black version, that the inside fabric layers offer plenty of filtered ventilation.

Give it to your domme for a park date, to make her the ultimate object of no-touch tease and denial, or keep it for better days as an accessory to compliment fetish wear and punk looks alike.

And, buy it knowing the original name of the shop was “Off Duty Dominatrix”. She might not be scening in the dungeon right now, but Cybill Troy can definitely serve a look, can’t she?

The Basilisk by Wandering Bard Toys

Ok, I admit I actually want this not for the fantasy of doing a lizard that can make you hard as stone. I like the unique curve-and-ridge combo of this break out designer’s hand poured, body (and butt) safe silicone dildo.

Whether your domme’s the type to strap one on or satisfy her own orifices, The Basilisk offers both the standards (three sizes, custom density options) and a shape I really haven’t seen in any other line.

Don’t like the colour? No problem! If blue isn’t to your tastes the mold masters at this two person work shop will blend you all sorts of other shades.

Inevitable Disclosure:
Nobody paid my to write this and I am not receiving kickbacks or even review copies. I mean, honestly if someone wants to send me any of these, I have a PO box?

Favourite Femdom Things to Buy: October 2020 Edition

Because a significant amount of my time is spent looking at neat or sexy things and honestly if I find it interesting I might as well share. Captialism!

“Mistress” T-shirt from Ava Ex Machina

It's a picture of me.
Modeling a “Medium” after one wash, and looking damn good doing it, too.

Is there anything this woman can’t do? Yes, that’s an actual picture of me, stockings and all, feeling absaloutly gorgeoud in my favourite of her designs. The Mistress shirt has the loopy femme font, the pretty crop (my favourite idiot proof toy) and just the right positioning.

The shop image does not do it justice- so I am so glad I bought it. Not your style? Consider her Vaporwave “Dream Domme” or the direct “Pay Me” hatchet.

One caveat, her store isn’t always open so you may need to follow Ava and see. But you should probably follow her on Twitter anyway.

BS Atelier Oben 3

It’s Spanish!

The BS Atelier Oben 3 is simply too pretty not to have me considering the aesthetics. Either poking from a strapon harness, or held by the base, being able to get it without annoying shipping from Come as You Are is just a little bit too tempting to add to cart.

It would also fill a hole (snrk) in my toy collection as the head is much less impractically bulbous than the Tantus Silk Large. Even though I managed to buy that toy twice (I got it from pinkcherry, so much cheaper, but their stock is a lot more limited). I like the Night Sky design enough I want to get it in all three sizes and use it for Silver’s oral training.

Deadly Couture Latex Blouse

I wish they specified the brand on their site better…

It’s the high necked vintage look and drape that lures me in. Probably good for my pocket book ($308 Canadian), this latex blouse is luckily not an easy trip and try on to determine if it would look as good on me, tucked into my corset waisted latex skirt, as it does on the model. I’m between their small and medium for tops, so even if I were handed the cash to blow on goodies I would probably be reticent to splurge. Nonetheless this definitely informs the top I will eventually acquire.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also admiring the unique detail of the lace on that skirt too… But I think once I sort out my need for stockings this is on the next wanted list.

Definitely Not a Toy Bag

Available with or without accessories…

Luna Matatas, the sex educator, has cleverly realized that branded merch is a good way to get people to support her work, and tbh even though it’s just a canvas pouch with printing, it’s working way too well on me.

I can’t decide between this Definitely not Bondage Stuff bag, and the same design in black and white.

S- Series Roomba Robot Vacuum

I will stick googly eyes to it.


Roomba. Send Roomba. Roomba now. Please give. I deserve a roomba. You need to send me a roomba.

I obviously should receive the fanciest roomba on the market.

There’s an affiliate link to Tantus’s store, but that’s the only possible kick back there. You can read more about my policy with ads and sponsored content here.

A Sex Shop Date With Wildcard

sushiLast Saturday, Wildcard identified my doldrums as needing fixing, s we went out to watch Dr. Strange and then gorge on sushi, the latter activity almost  meaning a visit to the nearby sex shop, called “Romance“.

Every relationship has its rituals. I have an undying love for salmon, particularly raw or smoked. Wildcard has a tradition of eating his feelings in delicious all you can eat buffet omnoms. Having a favourite fishing hole, and being fond of me, he shared the location and now we make monthly pilgrimages. Faces get stuffed, then we invariably go sex toy shopping.

At first the shopping trips were an accidental extension of geography. The store just happens to be between us and where we always park. Honestly, showing up there started with very little expectation other than having a giggle at the hilari-bad porn DVDs.

This branch is open absurdly late, which was probably the first draw.  Plus, in addition to the breast shaped macaroni and strawberry flavoured lube (euch), they have an upstairs BDSM and fetish section. It’s an Adult Novelty style shop, but it is more than dick hats and copies of Pink Eye 2.

Still, why pay the markup?

You might wonder our motive for being there. After all, it is never going to be as cheap as shopping online. No brick and mortar store is going to beat a fresh-from-the-warehouse site like pinkcherry.ca in cost. If I want a bouquet of a half dozen riding crops,  I will never argue meatspace is cheaper.

I keep going back to Romance, because they beat even my favourite online retailers in immediate customer engagement. The staff cares about and is knowledgeable about all their stock. And, while online sites offer reviews, at a certain point you can’t beat actually touching the merchandise.

Going Hands On

Does it bounce well in the hand with a fleshy weight? How strong are the stitches in the leather? Can you slap it against your thigh to feel the thud or the sting? How does it stand up to my personal tastes? You can tell right away what will and won’t work for you.

For example, this time I wanted a cock ring for Wildcard. We’ve basically maxed out on vibes and insertables, but I wanted to take my teasing game a little further and make his erections more persistent.

Sure cock rings are a cheap grab. They seldom cost more than $20, unless you are moving into the territory of elaborate gilded ornaments. Still, I could have bought multiples online for the price of the one I got.  I paid the store markup because I wanted to actually handle the products properly, and get Wildcard’s immediate feedback. After all it was his penis about to be cinched.

At Romance, anything is available for reasonable in store testing, and I had six or so different sizes and models to play with and figure out which was best. Otherwise, I would either need to borrow a friend’s personal items (assuming I knew someone who did have one), or try my luck with buying before I try. Why gamble and create waste?

Curation Matters

Romance doesn’t stock the super high end, gold plated luxury brands, and while they have a few of the lower quality toys, they are carefully screened for skin safe material. The quality and price point runs a range, but nothing will cause a rash. They have recognizable brands, like Tantus, and various versions of the standards in less recognized brands: glass, masturbation sleeves, bullet vibes, etc… Nonetheless they have their share of the cheap quality stuff.

However, what makes me trust in the quality of their offerings are how they handle duds and poor purchases and how they constantly make purchasing a conversation.


For example last shopping trip, I impulse bought a Music Legs branded corset back fishnet tights set. That’s not a band I’d expect much from, but even so, the quality was terrible, neither matching the claimed colours on the package, nor coming laced. Indeed the wretched things gave you your lace as a single length of uncut ribbon- unacceptable for an item fragile enough that the first wearing was likely the last.

Online shopping, you write an irate review, and maybe process a return with shipping at your own expense. The smaller ones have time to address you complaints, but there’s a lot more time and distance involved. Here, you get the immediate feedback and from the staff, checking if it was a one off and pulling the defective product, as well as making a note to discuss the problem with the supplier.

And their relationship building also works in the opposite direction. I admit a certain degree of entertainment in getting a post purchase inquiry into the effectiveness of other toys. As much as they are ready to take unsolicited feedback, when you shop they ask questions- and if they know you bought something in the past, they ask you about what your experience was.

So in all, I might buy most of my toys online or seek out pervertables from cooking supply and hardware stores, but the post sushi sex shop date isn’t going to stop any time soon.

Disclosure: I affiliated with pinkcherry after I realized I was giving them a bunch of business from simply bulk ordering cheapo toys and talking about it. Romance and Priape offer no compensation for being mentioned. The sushi pic is free stock photography from clker.com